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_refugee_  ·  3617 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Year in Review: What was the best thing to happen to you in 2014?

I had a really difficult summer.

I had to travel weekly to Virginia, a place where I didn't know anyone or have any friends, for work, for about 6-8 weeks at the height of my summertime. I stayed in hotels and all my meals were paid for and I had a rental car. Sounds nice, but it forced me to confront "loneliness" and "self-reliance." I drafted a piece about eating alone in restaurants that I haven't finished but think could be interesting, at least for me as a reflection on what I learned.

Earlier, before the traveling, I dated 2 guys (consecutively) that were really, really bad choices, although it wasn't apparent at first. I think it takes a month or two to really start to learn who a person is. To be perfectly honest I stayed with the first one longer than I should have out of carnal pleasure. The second one I started kicking to the curb early on but he really didn't want to be kicked. Going to Virgina not only helped me cut these guys off efficiently but forced me not to date anyone, which I think was a really good move for me. I mean, I "hadn't dated anyone" - been in a relationship - in years by that point, but hooking up, flirting, and going out with people casually still allows a certain distraction and preoccupation with that sort of activity. Really not dating or seeing anyone at all was good.

I think one of the hardest things (going to Virginia) turned out to be one of the best things, because it challenged me and caused me to grow, even though I did spend time in white hotel beds crying to myself alone a couple of nights. I also ended up with a new job out of it, but I'm pretty sure I hate the new job and it regularly causes me undue amounts of stress 1-2 weeks out of every 4 (which I am having some difficulty coping with well) - but hey - maybe the new job will be the 2015 challenge that turned into a good thing, right?

Per aspera, ad astra, myfriends.