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lil · 3801 days ago · link · · parent · post: What's Washed up on Your Shore?

Thanks for your answers sp00ns.

You definitely are coping with a lot and your questions are the biggest ones. The questions really grabbed my attention.

What am I doing with my life? Most of life is probably searching for an answer to that question.

How can I succeed? At least you want to succeed. You're striving and trying to go to the limits of your talent, and trying to find an identity that matches your self-perception.

Does thinking about and worrying abut failure mean I have already failed? Not at all - it's more evidence of caring, striving, and achieving. At the moment, it seems your definitions of "success" and "failure" are related to success in the world of performance music, success in the eyes of critics, recruiters, and others. Over time, I imagine success and failure will have a broader definition - but your ambitions are good ones and worth trying for.

People who say that a musician going for a PhD is a musician who failed to get a gig in an orchestra sound like people who have nothing better to do than make judgements based on prejudice and stupidity. Teaching is nothing to apologize for.

I've just been reading a little book called Do the Work. It's essentially about all the obstacles that stop people from going after big ideas.

As for being able to pass and live your life - that would be a wonderful thing. People do. I hope you are talking to them.

What am I doing with my life? how can I succeed? How will i be able to negotiate transition with my chosen career? Does applying to a doctorate imply my failure?

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