It's the allowing myself to feel that that seems to be taking time. But, all things in due time.

It does take time. But it gets easier. I can do it on my own, but my counselor and my girlfriend help significantly. I'm sure, as narcissistic as it is, that I will love myself more once I'm graduated from school (Which I still think is just to get a piece of paper saying that I'm a grown up) and have a job that will allow me to survive my heart disease independent of my parents.

I don't mind sharing. I'd direct you first to this post. Essentially, I was raised as a 'gifted' child, and a religious one at that. I came to believe that my slightly above average intelligence, empathy, etc, were a direct command to BE better than my peers, BE the stronger person, take that which others can't, bear the unbearable so that 'weaker' people don't break. I'm smarter, so I should push myself to achieve academically like others simply can't even in their greatest effort. I'm more empathetic and kind so I should be more moral, more generous (Especially when giving of myself). My heart condition precluded me from athletics, so clearly my lifes work would be of the mind, of the human condition.

In a moment of blinding clarity I realized that when I was very young I accepted that it was an abnormal condition for me to be content or happy. If I am content, then there is something else I should be doing. If I am happy, or satiated, someone else is going without.