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Kurt Vonnegut! His writing is a dark, sometimes vulgar and always strange satire of humanity in short sentences of awesome truth. I suggest Breakfast of Champions (a classic), and his collection of short essays and stories titled 'A Man Without a Country,' which was my absolute favorite. Vonnegut is the kind of writer who you'll be able to quote from for a good few months afterwards and seem like the wisest, most unapologetic old geezer around.