Right now, though, I'm only trying to explain what ref meant and I believe she is not saying You are unimportant to me although I agree that by not txting, she is sending that message. Anyway, she can explain herself by herself. We will wait for her response (or not). There's some lovely points above that I don't entirely disagree with...and will write more later. thxI think it's funny that the crux of your argument is that the woman shouldn't be required to act first because it's a "fear" issue instead of a "power" issue without recognizing that the person who actually has to do something is the one without power, regardless of the motivation.
I'm not arguing that the woman shouldn't be required to act first. Whoever is willing to throw caution to the wind SHOULD and WILL act first. After a while, one is willing to take risks and handle rejection. How to make that possible is another topic.