This is scary. Very scary.

I just finished my Master's and was looking forward to the 6 month break that is coming and the chance to start a new chapter. PhD. I always wanted to do a PhD. 4 Years of learning, researching and teaching!

But this blog post is scaring me away. Makes me wonder if I am on the right track or not. I love science, I love teaching but I am getting more and more signs that this is not the place for me.

I had my thesis defense about 1.5 weeks ago. 4 profs. ask me questions for 40 minutes. I got my mark, it was 1.7 (≥85%), it is good, but I was not happy.

Why? I answered all the questions correctly. So what happened here?

The profs. said that I was "flapsig" in german (meaning uncouth, flippant, offhand etc.)

They did not like how relaxed I took the questions. I answered them in a way I felt comfortable and passionate about. But they were not pleased. They wanted me to take things more serious.

But why? Can't I talk about my passion the way I want to? I did answer their questions correctly, just not in the way they wanted to hear the answers...

This gave me a feeling of not belonging to this group of people called professors. But they won't stop me from being a scientist.

Edit: On a side note, if so many people are not getting funded, WHO is getting funded then?