I'ma let my kid wander free and wild but I know that's gonna make me a total weirdo.

Good for you.

This has been an interesting discussion to follow (still reading it) because, you know, my mom's kind of psycho. One of the ways in which she is irrational is how she is, I guess, overprotective.

I'm a full-grown adult and if I'm at my parents' (in very white, safe, upper-middle-class suburbia) and want to go for a walk around dusk or after, my mother is all about "Oh but it's not safe." It's all paranoia and "white virgin [although a laughable claim] in distress" and, yes, craziness and maybe control on her part. Never mind the things she chooses not to realize: I have spent lots of very wee hours wandering streets in areas with higher crime rates. I started sneaking out and wandering our neighborhood at night when I was 15. (Eventually caught.)

An anecdote: all three of us kids were going out for a walk at night, and she protested "But it's not safe to go out alone!" Alone? Three is a pack. I feel she exemplifies irrationality at these times. It is funny because my younger, prettier sister does not experience this treatment. Apparently if I go out alone at night I'm a walking target.

Sure. Her intentions may be good. But they're also based out of irrational fear. It is exactly the parental paranoia this thread addresses. (Except I'm an adult, not 10.)

I am impressed by all the reading you've done about kids that's coming through in this thread. If I were to become a parent I'd research the fuck out of it too.

I am of the "kids should be allowed to get hurt" mentality. Let her burn her hand on the stove, that's the only way she's going to really know why she shouldn't touch it. Of course, no one would wish harm on their own kids and such - but small pains? They're part of life. Plus, you shouldn't really be afraid of small pains, and you get rid of that fear by experiencing them and realizing they're not so bad.

Plus, no matter how you control your kid, they are going to find other ways to get into trouble that you don't want them to find. Can't go out at night? Cool, talking to (cybering with) strangers on internet forums. Or cool, sneaking out while you're asleep. Or playing with matches in the basement or huffing glue because they're curious or I don't know. Kids will find a way.

Let your kid wander and walk all over. Let your kid take risks. I don't know about buying her an iPhone ;) but certainly, giving her enough personal freedom so that she can make mistakes and learn from them.