- But Smiler has an important question: “If Casonova-style promiscuity is men’s naturally evolved state, then why do most men want no more than one partner?” In “Challenging Casanova,” the Wake Forest University professor lays out the current data on young men’s sexual desires and behavior to make a case against this insidious stereotype. The book is grounded in research but nonetheless accessible and not exceedingly academic. It dares us to consider what might happen if we forgot everything we thought we knew about young men and began accepted the truth that they are largely interested in relationships, not endless one-night stands.
Aye, I recall reading an article about how young men were more likely to want serious involvements than the women they were seeing, but I can't recall where the article was from. Anecdotally, my female friends tell me that in their casual sexual relationships with men (not one-night stands) it has for them been inevitable that the guy starts to develop inappropriate feelings. I think the comment on gay men is telling, and might shed some light back onto the hetero stereotype. Put simply, promiscuous (and/or camp) gay men are the most highly visible ones, leading to a stereotype that all gay men are promiscuous, while in reality you're probably surrounded by plenty of gay men who you just assume are straight - because they're not like what gay people are supposed to be like. It's a self-confirming stereotype.
That's true about the gay stereotype. It seems that whenever I debate equality for gays with bigots, they bring up that gay men are far more promiscuous. I just don't see why this matters? I think it was Chris Rock that said, "a man is as faithful as his options." Heterosexual men just normally have less options. -or maybe they don't, I'm not sure but one of my gay friends confirmed that promiscuity is an issue in the gay community when trying to maintain a monogamous relationship. Was he wrong?
Well, I'm no expert (obviously) so I could be wrong. Of course, that's within the "gay community" which doesn't necessarily imply that it's true for all gay men. But yeah, I remember a conversation between my ex-girlfriend's brother and another one of his sisters where he, as a gay guy, was explaining how promiscuity within the gay community changed monogamous relationships - he said usually people reached an arrangement where the odd infidelity was considered acceptable, and people who wanted a strict monogamous relationship basically either had to compromise or find themselves single again.