Wow... how very esoteric is Silence? In my life and brain, VERY! It's funny though. When I'm with others, my earplugs are in. But when I'm alone, 90% of the time, my earplugs are out. But there is a catch. If I'm alone, and I don't have some form of white noise (fan, TV turned down to 1) and I am able to hear every little creek in the floor and the heater turning on and off.... my mind turns to crazy really fast, so the earplugs go in. When I was diagnosed with Misophonia, it explained so much. How tiny sounds sounded really annoying and loud. And how chewing, chomping, gulping and the like, sound as though the person doing said verbs had their mouth attached to my eardrum. For me, complete silence can be a demon. But, in contrast, it's the lack of silence that has me contemplating shoving an ice pic in each ear.
Thanks for the comment Reese, I hope you don't mind me asking about the Misophonia, but I was unaware of it prior to your comment. I'm curious, does it manifest itself more for certain types of sounds? What, if any, are the types of sounds that really make you reach for that "ice pick"? Also, how did you finally diagnose it? I would guess that it's the type of thing that people can suffer from for years and not be able to either pin-point or have people believe them about -which would be extremely frustrating. I see that you recently joined Hubski, welcome.
Thank you, thenewgreen, for your response and your questions. Misophonia is tricky because it can effect those suffering from it in many ways. To make a long story short, as a child, certain sounds would infuriate me. Not just bother me, or annoy. I could hardly sit at the dinner table due to the chewing sounds of my family. And they weren't beasts. They were merely masticating. Door bells, knocking, the 70s music my dad adored... I began building resentments toward the people inflicting pain onto me. That's the weird the about MP. When I was little, I had a hard time equating the anger I was feeling with the bothersome noises. And feeling anger is not unusual. That is what MP is about. Anger from sound. Finally, in my early thirties, I purchased some earplugs and my whole life changed for the better. This was before I had even heard about Misophonia. Finally, about 3 years ago, I was reading about sound sensitivity on the web and I went to a doctor and I told him about my plugs and when I was younger and I was diagnosed. Misophonia, I believe, literally means “the hatred of sound”. I hope I helped answer some of your questions by sharing my owe experiences.
You definitely answered my questions. One more, if you don't mind: Are there certain sounds that do the opposite for you? Are there sounds that you love or even crave? Are there some types of music you enjoy? Sounds of nature etc?
Actually, yes. I am constantly craving White Noise and Pink Noise. If you haven't heard of either and you are a Google Chrome user, there is an app in the chrome store entitled “White Noise” with the icon of a vintage TV. There are samples of both white and pink in the app. The most common way I can obtain both of these noises is by using a box fan. Pink on a lower setting, White on a higher. When I have my ear plugs out, I need to have some sort of W or P noise that is constant. Otherwise I get really anxious and shove the plugs back in. Sometimes the hum of a crowd will suffice and I can take out one ear plug, so as to hear people talking to me. There are quite a few songs that cause major reactions, even with the plugs in. I am a Sensitive, so things affect me intensely. I have had to choose to take my power back and not be so reactive to slow, emotional songs, dave mathews bandish songs, anything with self deprecating lyrics and others. I do love a lot of classic alternative (not 80s), some classic rock and almost all classical music. This next part may cause you and others on here to discredit me and the few words I have tried to express, but here goes. I know there are quite a few atheists on here so I am taking a risk by disclosing what I am about to write. When I say I am a sensitive, I mean that literally. It is about 10% of my hearing problem. I have been tested by handfuls of Psychiatrists and Psychologists and I am not schizophrenic. But I do, at times hear and see spirits. Usually only when it is really quiet. It is something I have had my whole life but didn't really know what it was until about 9 years ago. All of my sisters, my brother, three nieces and others in the family have some level of this gift. No one, except Steve and maybe MK, knows me on this website, so I feel it is safe to put it out there on here. I only ever do house readings and things for family. It is not a money maker for me at all. My dreams are very telling also. For example, I had a dream my Grand Father was going to die two days before he was diagnosed with cancer. I am only sharing this because it plays a part in my blocking out the world the way I do and my anxiety levels. Sometimes distraction is the only way I can shut down my senses enough to avoid going nuts. Loud sounds and a random ethereal voice here and there lead up to one thing.... Misophonia.
I am definitely a fan of "white noise". We always have a form of white noise going while we sleep. Usually it's a fan but we have also used white noise "machines" in the past. My daughter has a white noise machine in her room. Now about those voices/spirits... :) I'm not inclined to believe such things but only because I've not experienced them myself and don't see any practical reason to think that spirits are walking amongst us etc. That said, I don't doubt that you experience something like this and that it is very real to you. I also don't doubt that we can have some great discussions on any number of topics even if you believe in spirits and I don't. I'm sorry to hear that your grandfather is ill.