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comment by veen
veen  ·  66 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: March 22, 2023

I'm doing...okayish. Have more good days than bad ones. Had to skip the company ski trip, for obvious reasons, but the fomo is real. Currently waiting for a few blood test results.

In the meantime I'm trying to figure out what makes the good days good. Monday I learned the hard way that waking up before 7am royally f'ed up my day. I'm looking at vegan protein shakes because keeping energy levels up seems to work. Got an Apple Watch to monitor my heart rate and learn what that does. Avoiding 'spikes' of effort also seems to help. I am intensely grateful to own a car right now because I cannot see myself bicycling the amount I used to do all the time.

To some degree I am weaponizing my slightly obsessive nature to manage my own health. But I have to keep reminding myself however that my health is not entirely in my hands, that it could be a lot worse, that I have to be patient, that I have to cut myself some slack. Easier said than done though.

kleinbl00  ·  66 days ago  ·  link  ·  

"maybe you aren't a runner anymore."

- my yoga instructor, when I expressed frustration with my ability to run

So far? She's been right. Running is a bitch. I can do it. Sort of. thing is, I can walk 6 miles a day without any problems, and I enjoy it.

Rather than focusing on what you can't do and how it's gone, she opened my eyes to focusing on what I can do and what that means. Once I turned around to "hey, you're not dead, and considering what the EKG looked like a mild dose of blood pressure meds is an extremely small price to pay" I found better ways to be present. By the time my pulse-ox made it back to 99 I'd pretty much found a new groove.

It sounds like you're on your way. It gets easier once you've been given an excuse to suck. Find the groove but more importantly, be willing to re-find it whenever the need strikes.