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comment by goobster
goobster  ·  595 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: August 31, 2022

My spiral staircase arrives today, between 10 and 4.

It's a LOT of steel that I have to unload myself, inspect, and ensure no damage and all parts are there, before the truck leaves. So I have basically put myself on "tentative" availability all day for work, and am sitting here with my work clothes and gloves, ready to jump up and get to work whenever the truck arrives.

Then I need to get all the pieces in the back yard, set them up for finish painting (they are coming primed only), so I can get them dry and ready for install this weekend.

In other news, I went to a little fundraiser/get-together with a bunch of my old circus friends, who have gone on to set up a very successful dinner theater in Seattle ... and didn't have much fun. I just don't like being around people anymore. I don't like small talk.

I used to be a social butterfly, zooming around, checking in on everyone, connecting people together, leading community-building projects, and just DOING a lot.

Now? After an hour I had to go. I just had no more words inside my head to say, and didn't care what the other person was saying... which is just rude. If you aren't going to listen to someone, then don't waste their time, I say. So I left.

I'm in a weird middle-space about a lot of things.

My motorcycle isn't "right" for me anymore. But I don't know what make/model/style is "right".

My job is a minor annoyance that I could keep doing for a decade and then retire. Or I could pursue one of the other opportunities I have just been presented with. But ... meh.

It's just ennui. All the way down.