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comment by galen
galen  ·  2227 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 21, 2018

I can’t start therapy yet since I’m leaving the country in a week (although I’ve looked into student services in Baden-Württemberg and I should be able to get cheap counseling there), so instead I send strings of messages like this to my friends:

    I had a dream that I was full of regret for not applying to Harvard

    I think I might be secretly full of regret for not applying to Harvard

    I think whenever I achieve something (like getting into a great school) I hate it a little bit because it was supposed to fill the void and it’s not, but instead of recognizing that I can’t ever fill the void with accomplishments, I just think “oh okay I need to accomplish something even more impressive”

    And then also failure is devastating because for a minute it’s like “oh now I might never be happy”

Growing up constantly being told how smart and gifted and special I am (and, it was implied, am expected to remain) really fucked me up, I think.

I found a new coffee shop, though! Cool staff, not too busy, and a killer cortado. Spent an hour there today working on Tig Notaro's book.





elizabeth  ·  2226 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I’ve read somewhere it is best to praise kids for their actions vs their qualities. So you’d praise a kid for being hard working or studious, not smart. It’s crazy how what we think are just nice compliments can put people under tremendous pressure to fulfill your expectations.

As a side note, what’s the deal with Cortados? I feel like I haven’t even heard the term until this year, and now it has started popping up in coffee shop menus all around. Has it been gaining popularity or it’s just my imagination?

galen  ·  2226 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I hadn't heard of the Cortado until this year, either. I'm guessing someone figured out that it's like a better flat white, so they put it on their menu and it started gaining popularity.