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Whoa, kleinbl00, you're not actually supposed to read Samuel Johnson, you're just supposed to use his wittiest comments! I love the thought that great figures of literature and history were basically just party boys and today they're revered. "Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men. But he who aspires to be a hero, must drink brandy."
And that's just it - I get it that Samuel Johnson is the Jack Handey of pseudointellectuals. Just don't pretend that he's anything other than the Jack Handey of pseudointellectuals. I'll take Lichtenberg, thanks. At least he did cool shit with electricity.