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comment by lil
lil  ·  2625 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 8, 2017

    I've managed to ruin my image with the group by verbally attacking my groupmate at a slight provocation in the online chat; I'm deeply ashamed of having done so;

Yes good TFanficG.

Learn to express yourself without insulting the other person. Show understanding of their problem/statement and then express your own position. So if they say the professor is "stuck up" and how dare she etc., you say, "I can see why you think that. When she says she wants no one lazy or stupid, it is insulting to students." -- validate their position. They have a right to feel whatever they want. Then offer your own feelings or opinions.

If they respond by insulting you, you have to ask yourself if you want to continue the conversation, whether it is the best use of your time. Meanwhile, carry on with your new brave year!





user-inactivated  ·  2625 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thanks, lil.

Truth is - I don't want to try and engage in that kind of meaningful conversation with the group any more. I gave it a shot, and it failed. Too many people in my group are willing to engage in discussing rumours, talking behind people's backs and otherwise keeping the conversation about themselves. One should always strive to be their best, and upholding the conversation as you suggest is a valuable asset in communication between any two parties, but, with time, I found it more and more appealing to disengage and let them do their thing as long as my own hide is safe. Their lack of curiosity and ambition in education - even for the cleverest girl in the group - is what struck the final nail.

I enjoy having such meaningful conversations on Hubski, and it's difficult for me to re-adjust for something more... self-centered.