a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by oyster
oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: January 11, 2016

Nobody is saying people are pro-rape but there is absolutely an attitude of indifference or sweeping under the rug. Combine that with how many woman rightfully feel that reporting is useless while also likely to just cause more harm for themselves and it's not hard to see why this stuff keeps happening.

Everybody is passionately against something until it's more than just talk, best example being abortion.





OftenBen  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

There is nothing that I personally can do to prevent sexual assaults from occurring. The group of people who is receptive to the message 'Don't rape' is completely composed of people who never have and never will perpetrate it. The group of people who DO commit such acts isn't listening to talk.

oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Did you bother googling the campaign the person was talking about ?

OftenBen  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm well educated on HeForShe. I don't think it's going to do a lick of good at reducing the frequency of sexual assault in global north countries. Again, the people who do commit sexual assault aren't listening.

oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The campaign isn't about that, it's about not being a bystander when you see things. Unless they've changed everything from what I can tell you literally could not be less educated on it.

The posters you are talking about are part of different campaigns.

OftenBen  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Rejuvenation: HeForShe is part of the efforts to reduce the incidence of sexual assault

OB: HeForShe will not make any changes in the incidence of sexual assault in global north countries because the people who will listen to the message already aren't raping people. The people who listen to the message are not in positions where they can effect a change in the incidence of sexual assault.

Rejuvenation directly inferred that HeForShe will lead to a reduction in the incidence of sexual assault. I don't believe it will, for the reasons stated above.

Also, the bystander effect is something that everyone, man and woman alike needs to deal with. It's not an explicitly male problem.

oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You didn't say "the messages" you said "don't rape" as if you thought the posters saying things like don't rape or don't be that guy had anything to do with heforshe. The campaign addresses the bystander effect in everybody not just men. The name is simply a call that men can join in on this as well.

You are not the victim, stop trying to be the victim all the time FFS.

OftenBen  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I'm not trying to be a victim. I'm trying to highlight the fact that efforts to recruit men for 'anti-rape' campaigns often end up alienating guys who could be of some help.

'Teach men not to rape' comes across the same way as 'Teach women not to throw newborns in dumpsters.'

oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Holy shit, and heforshe has nothing to do with that.

You're trying to a be a victim because you're taking a conversation that has nothing to do with a campaign you dislike and inserting it in there so you can be a victim.

OftenBen  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    heforshe has nothing to do with that.

Except that's not true though

HeForShe is in part explicitly committed to the reduction of the incidence of sexual assault.

oyster  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Quit playing dumb, you know perfectly well I mean heforshe has nothing to do with your slogans "teach men not to rape" those are posters you saw online and felt victimized by so they're clouding how you see other campaigns which have nothing to do with it. Kind of like how when people are actual victims they have a skewed view of anything related to the thing they are a victim of which causes them to be triggered.

Rejuvenation  ·  2658 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Guys ,Though OftenBen is right that Yes, Majority of people do condemn it and perpetrators will never be receptive to it..but as oyester is saying that not transforming it in a movement has some kind of passive bystander effect..

.We need a sustained campaign to pressurise at least the political class in believing that the matter is serious( which in my opinion does not act in absence of such movements),and make and implement pro women policies..=> So, giving voice to the belief, is necessary to show how much "NUMBER" of people are furious due to such acts.

Secondly..it will embolden women to not tolerate such incidents and come out with complaints..this can prevent further victimisation of other girls..So,here OftenBen is also right..sometimes what we lack is also 'SheforShe '. Campaign..as until it doesn't impact one, people have tendency to keep such issues under carpet..

The name of the campaign is misguiding to some extent..because we need support of all people, men+ women ,who stand against it..

But keeping in mind the fact that rape though is a gender neutral crime, victimises women mostly and till recently the women rights campaign was largely driven by women( I think so)=>That's why the need of name=> 'HeForShe'.

Thirdly, though it will not shut up completely some misogynists who are often caught in victim blaming..but will dilute their voices to some extent?

At the end it is not about teaching men about something,rather it is show of their support to a cause.

That's all what I believe.