a thoughtful web.
Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking.   Login or Take a Tour!
comment by steve
steve  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Privacy Settings and the Icky Feeling - E. H. Brogan Blog

This is a great piece... that I need to read again and consider.

I would like to peaceably disagree with one thought:

    no one has any right to apply judgments about what I do with my body, how I adorn it, or choose to make myself present.

I think that they do. We all do. We make judgements all the time - and I'm not talking about negative, judgy, put-down-others stuff - I'm talking about... assessments.

As I drove down San Fernando Blvd, I made assessments/judgements on which restaurant I wanted to take my family to. That one looks too expensive. That one looks like a dive (and not in a good way). That one looks like something my kids wouldn't like. Ahh... here's a freaking Del Taco with only one guy sleeping in the alleyway. We'll go there. (Mostly because I'm tired of dragging the gut - and everyone is hungry).

Whether it's restaurants in Burbank or people in the workplace - we all make judgements. If we judge poorly, we miss out on opportunities.

I guess my point is - we all assess the world around us. Some one may look at your body mods and think "How unprofessional - we could never hire/promote her" but you might look at some one with a body mod and think "Holy crap! That looks awesome!" Both are assessments. Both are judgements, and you both have the right to make them. And as crappy as it is... an employer can choose to hire or not hire based on their's.





OftenBen  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Regardless of whether they do or don't that statement is about the right to do so.

Just because a person can do a particular act, doesn't make it good, right, or desirable.

steve  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

indeed you are right

dicks gonna be dickish dicks

doesn't make it right

.

.

(I replied in haiku because HAIKU!)

user-inactivated  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I was looking to say something similar. People are always going to judge on what you look like, for better or worse. Part of teaching kids on how to be adults is to realize that we are all different in many ways but also so very similar under the surface.

OftenBen  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Because of this factor, I tend to dress like I own a Boat, because those assumptions are easier to deal with and dispel if I want to. They also get me preferential treatment in situations where I ought not get preferential treatment, because of the implication.

user-inactivated  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

One of the kids I used to work with and I had this conversation. I helped him buy a very nice pair of slacks and two collared Polos. It freaked him out how differently he was treated by people because he was wearing a set of $50 worth of cotton.

OftenBen  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

It's a super weird-ass phenomenon to observe, especially when you're the one being called 'sir.'

steve  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    I tend to dress like I own a Boat

If I were asked to describe your physical appearance: a damn handsome man in fine, boat-owning attire.

steve  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  

and part of corporate america is to squash all sense of external personal expression. (I am kinda kidding, but kinda not)

OftenBen  ·  2205 days ago  ·  link  ·  
This comment has been deleted.