From reading his memoir, it sounds like he enjoys being alone, but would not call himself lonely. He has a wife and a lot of friends, but needs to be alone with his thoughts to make sense of the world. He does have a lot of lonely characters, but I doubt he would describe himself that way.
No idea. It could be that it's my reading of this story but from what I recall of his other works, there is a quietness throughout: in the settings, the characters/characterizations and the action. In this one, the characters seem to me to be lonely throughout, especially with each other. They've each been isolated from one another by time, distance, memory, desire, expectations, etc. I've often thought that I wouldn't want to meet certain writers whose work I've loved. The words on the page and the reader's own imagination can tend to conspire to create an idea of who a writer might be. Such a construct can be delicate and easily shattered by the reality of meeting in person. That said, I have no idea who Murakami could be and would jump at a chance to get a sense of the person behind the words.
I wrote a crappy poem about this. Oh wait you commented on it. Thanks for that.I've often thought that I wouldn't want to meet certain writers whose work I've loved. The words on the page and the reader's own imagination can tend to conspire to create an idea of who a writer might be.