1) Sometimes it comes on real slow: you don’t know it, but before too long you realize that you've caught fire from the inside out and that no amount of dancing, shouting or fucking is gonna put it out; so you put a pen to paper and write that fire out word by word until you've drowned. 2) Of course, the aliens came to visit when I was lost in the 468th day of a coma. 3) In all the before or since that is human history, no month of June was ever like the one that held the events of this story. 4) No one knew why, but everyone knew that magic returned to the world at the precise moment the little girls from Mrs. Evans’ class were singing their double-dutch rhymes during that fateful afternoon recess in the spring of 2047. 5) “It’s not you, it’s me,” I said, though we both knew that by, “it’s me” I meant, “it’s you” and that all the bullshit in the world wouldn't ever erase the enormity of what had passed between us as I watched you enter the stinging darkness of that night we were stuck dreaming in.
I'll see your five: 1) What's inertia if not an invitation to kill? 2) They say a man can't survive for more than ten days without water; Charlie had proven them wrong on more than one occasion. 3) "I'll buy you a beer if you tell me about your sister." 4) Here's something Aldrin and Armstrong never told us, the moon isn't made of cheese; it's made of rock, silt and vaseline. 5) Their forwarding address read, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
2) Of course, the aliens came to visit when I was lost in the 468th day of a coma
-Seems very Vonnegut to me :)