I myself (a male) have experienced aggressive behavior like this before. Nothing scarring or horrible, but the author is dead on in describing the typical male reaction, and society's views at large. It's an issue that should be discussed more often. I think the most important matter, though, is to try to educate men that they need to careful too when dealing with potentially dangerous situations, especially ones that involve alcohol and drugs.
Yeah, I have too. I hadn't really thought about it much though. I have a friend who woke up to a girl from our extended group of friends having sex with him after a party. I didn't really know how to react to it, though I did think it was a fucked up thing to wake up to, but he laughed about it. I don't know that I ever really asked how it affected him as it never really occurred to me to do so.
I don't know that my friend considers what happened to be rape, but it's clear that he didn't consent to having sex with the girl and I don't think that he would have even if he had be awake, much less sober. I think that the article is right in saying that society is heavily biased toward counting only male on female sexual assault as rape and very dismissive of female sexual aggression. To me, what makes it even worse is that the potential consequences of female on male sexual assault or rape could result in the man supporting any resultant children. Child support is a separate issue, but I think that needs to be examined with more thought, awareness and care as well.
The weird thing is the disconnect I'm noticing even in my own mind. If a girl wakes up and a guy is having sex with her, what the fuck that guy should go to jail. If vice versa, it's like ... slightly weird but you can laugh it off really easily.
I'm normally pretty rational and I'm having trouble getting past how wrong one of these ways of looking at this has to be.
Social mores developed through both rational and emotional processes over long stretches of time, so I think that makes sense. I have to say, it really infuriates me when people claim to be rational, as if it somehow exempts them from the effects of emotional attachment.
I am not at all attributing that to you, by the way, it's just that I'm surprised at how unaware people are of the deep influence that forces other than the rational have on human behavior and how some people think that they are somehow outside of that.
It's true -- claiming rationality in the sense of being beyond the evolutionary effects of lust, envy and so on is a bit ridiculous.
I meant in the sense of being unable to acknowledge that I know thinking this way is wrong and silly, and still thinking it.
Mmhmm. There are many things that I rationally believe aren't true or acceptable, but react emotionally to all the same. Jealousy, for example. Still, I think it can improve with time.
The good thing is that you know you have this bias in your mind.