Like I said, lil, I have thoughts, but I don't know what they are. I'll try. What's for sure is that an online community I joined in early 2006 definitively changed my life, and even though I've never yet physically met any of the members I've been interacting with for years (mostly because they live in Australia), I would jump at the chance to. In some areas they 100 percent know more about me than even my closest childhood friends (and of course vice versa) -- it's like what thenewgreen said above: I interact with the internet much more often and more conveniently than I do with friends who live all over the country. That's the key. For instance, none of my childhood friends know that I'm going to stack a bunch of fucking bricks in a pile this weekend and call it a bookshelf, but thenewgreen does. Etc. The sad downside is that it's very easy to lose touch with internet friends, and it's often a very vague process. One of the core members of our IRC channel killed himself a few years ago and another went to jail for nine months -- but others just gradually stopped logging in. In a way this makes the whole process even more bittersweet; I'm reasonably sure I'll still know a fair number of my childhood friends when I'm 40, but I can't really see myself still frequenting internet chat rooms. Who knows. Times are changing. So I guess what I ended up talking about, lil, was the odd dichotomy between becoming extremely close with online friends, but having very tenuous links to them, and knowing that at any moment they might disappear. In our friendships we have to trade intimacy for security? Not always, certainly, but the lack or presence of longterm ties in large part contributes to what we say to each other.
Thanks for your thoughts thenewgreen and flaggy. When you borrow money from a bank, the bank wants "security" for their loan: your house, a car, a paycheck they can garnish, or a co-signer with any of those things. We secure our friendships only with our caring and attention.The sad downside is that it's very easy to lose touch with internet friends
It seems easy to lose touch with real-life friends as well. They change, or disappear, or move.In our friendships we have to trade intimacy for security?
With real-world friends or online friends, it seems the only security and trust we have is within the strength of the relationship.
I have a feeling that the friendship model between IRL and online will become increasingly blurred and eventually won't mean much. BTW, flag... I'd be sad if you disappeared. At least leave a forwarding address. Deal?In a way this makes the whole process even more bittersweet; I'm reasonably sure I'll still know a fair number of my childhood friends when I'm 40, but I can't really see myself still frequenting internet chat rooms. Who knows. Times are changing.
I hear ya pal. There are a number of hubski users that aren't around as much or at all anymore that I miss talking with. But then some pop up out of nowhere sometimes and are right back in your life. My guess is that in 20 years I will still be friends with some of the Hubskiers I've met, but the majority will either be absent from my life or only on it's fringe. But this is very similar to real life friendships. I have a core group of close friends that I've known all my life and then there are some that were once a very big part of my life that have now disappeared completely, or close to it.
Ha, that wasn't foreshadowing. I'll be around for a while. I'm often very curious (almost to the extent that I wish I could jump forward in time 20 or 50 years) about things like the increasing relationship between real life and internet life. I'm just dying to know how that will all turn out. You're right that they're growing together; Facebook, Tumblr, etc. have done far more to "mainstream" the internet than anything on the professional side. Where does that end up? Sounds like a neat masters thesis.