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The trick is in getting everyone else to agree to the meaning of your own events and ceremonies. This is the fundamental value of traditions: they are cultural shorthand that allows strangers and acquaintances to place you in the social order without endless quizzing and interrogation. That's why the 'thumpers lose their fucking minds over gay marriage - "adam and eve not adam and steve" is the panicked howl of custom being slain by progress.It seems as though we have to create our own meaningful events and ceremonies, cut and paste traditions like arts and crafts.