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_refugee_  ·  3899 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Lil's Book of Questions: How Does an Affair Become a Long-Term Relationship?

I would love to read a whole blog post about "Can you remember when you knew it was over?" I don't know if you've written it yet.

I have a long history of knowing it's going to be over before pulling the plug, often months before. I tend to beat a relationship to death before I'm ready to leave it. I want to experience all the good times, even though I know it's not going anywhere. At some point I fall out of heady, whispy, mind-numbing love and so can see clearly: "I don't want to be with this person for the rest of my life." But that doesn't usually mean, I don't want to be with this person right now. So I stay in the relationship until I no longer want to be with the person...at all.

I don't know if that is right or wrong. Most people find it unusual, though. I have also wondered if I fate myself to my breakups. By saying "Oh, this'll last another six months" or "Another month before I'm sick of it," do I condemn myself to breaking up by anticipating it?