An ADA-compliant shower, according to the State:

An ADA-compliant shower, according to the City:

A friend asked me if our birth center was a microgravity environment. I told him it was for parkour pregnancies.

then I cried.

Worthy of note: our scope does not permit us to serve the handicapped anyway. The State recognizes this. The City doesn't give a fuck. Thank the holy FSM the shithead didn't make us buy chair lifts.

Now if you'll excuse me, apparently I need to go down to Ikea to find curtain rod holders because my contractor misplaced them so that they can put up a privacy curtain the State cares about but the City doesn't. After all, I've been off advil for 36 hours and even though yesterday was supposed to be a "rest" day that didn't mean I didn't get to make five separate trips to put out fires.