Damn. Firstly, I'm flattered.

Okay, enough jerking off. On my writing process. Before I say squat let me just say that blanket writing advice is bad news bears. Everyone has their own way of doing things. Everyone has their own methods. Everyone has their own ideas about writing and how to do it well. But a lot of people ask me this kind of stuff. How do you start? Where do you get your ideas? How do you open a story? All that junk. But I can still give you a few general tips--just don't take them too seriously because really you just need to find something that works for you.

Stop worrying about what your writing 'sounds like' and stop being so critical

Seriously, I tell this to people who ask me for advice all the time. You think the first time Picasso put paint on canvas it was a masterpiece? You think the first fadeaway jumpshot Michael Jordan took swished? Yall' think Ella Fitzgerald sounded like an angel the first time she opened her mouth to sing? Fat chance.

Too many amateur writers are stuck comparing themselves to others ( that old quote by Ira Glass that gets passed around like a ten-cent hooker explains this pretty well ). So much so in writing people are worried that what they're putting down sounds pretentious or overdone. As much as I'd like to say 'stop trying, writing comes from the soul. You have to stop trying', that unfortunately isn't very good advice. What I will say, is put every idea you have about your own work out of your head, and every comparison you would make should leave with it.

Trust me, for every good thing I've written I've written 20 other things that suck eggs. Let your critics worry about whether your shit sucks or not and just do your thing.

Opening a story

This is less metaphysical and more concrete, but it's basic. When opening a story you just have to grab the reader. Get their interest right away. Imagine walking into a poetry reading or something. The guy comes on stage and he says "Hello, I'm Henry Chinaski and I'll be reading for you tonight." Okay, pretty bland. Nobody wants to hear that 'I' junk, either. Now imagine a different scenario where the guy stumbles on stage, cracks a beer, and just screams out "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CUNTS ALL DOING HERE?" You're probably going to be surprised and maybe shocked but you're gonna be interested and you're gonna listen to what that crazy fucker has to say.

Every story you write doesn't have to begin with Chinaski screaming in your face but you get the idea. Once you 'establish your authority' with those first few lines (to take a page from Chuck Palahniuk's book), you can take the reader anywhere and do or say anything.

You gotta write more

I hate when people say this but it's true. For me, this has never been an issue. I can't stop writing. It's like a form of insanity. But I know there are people out there who struggle putting words down on paper every day. Thing is, the more you do it, the more comes out of you. Make no mistake, writing is a skill, like playing an instrument is. And writing well isn't a god-given gift, just like Picasso's skill with a brush wasn't and just like Michael's jumper wasn't and Ella's vocal control wasn't. People love to chalk up somebody's artistic work to 'talent' but what they don't see is the thousands of hours of work put in behind the scenes. People say that to me all the time--'Wow, you're talented!' Damn, if only it was that easy. Shit, I wish I had an OUNCE of talent. Nobody wants to hear it but the truth is hard work pays off... Write as often as you can and you will improve. But it's gonna take time.

Find a routine

I've never had much of a set routine. I write a lot on the road or in the library or sitting in class. On my arms or in my notebook or my computer. I write anywhere. But, when I set aside time at home to write, it usually goes like this:

Step one: roll joint.

Step two: ignite joint.

Step three: inhale smoke.

Step four: words. water.

That's just me. But I truly believe finding a few things you can do on your own, whether it's making tea or curling up on the floor with a notebook and a blanket with a candle lit, whatever it is. Just find something that puts you 'in the zone', or places you in a comfortable spot. Then you can start to associate those pleasurable activities with writing, and suddenly writing will become pleasurable too.

I'm by no means a master but I've been doing this shit on the daily since I was a kid and I've been telling people the same few things about writing since they started asking. Truth is, no witty article you can find online and no advice I can give you is going to make you a better writer, or make it any easier. That's on you. But you can't quit and you have to put a lot of effort in.