Ah! It's not so exciting. Here's the short version:

1. I have an unusual name.

2. Facebook introduce their "real names" policy.

3. Several months pass.

4. I can't log in to Facebook any more. I get a badly-formatted error message about how Facebook is a community where people use their real names.

5. I'm given the option to upload scans of government issued ID. I send my driving license.

(My account still shows as active to my friends, but any messages they send to me just disappear into a black hole. I am a Facebook non-person.)

6. Several weeks pass.

7. I reply to the auto-response email I got from them, asking how long it's likely to take.

8. Several days pass. I re-send my email.

9. Another day passes. Somebody from Facebook responds to reiterate their requirements (government issued photographic ID). I reply to say that that's exactly what I sent them. I try to log in to Facebook again, to try to submit something else, but their form now won't let me (it says that because I've already submitted ID, I now have to wait).

10. Somebody from Facebook responds by email with the same prefab response again. I email back, including a scan of my driving license AND a scan of my passport.

11. I get another email, telling me that my name is unacceptable because "Facebook is a community where people use their real names." Apparently my name isn't real enough for them. So now my account's been closed.

Fuck 'em. The good news is: I don't actually miss it. I was angry for a while, but I actually seem to be doing fine without it (I didn't use it often as it was: just logged in once every few weeks to see what was new).

As a developer, I keep a Facebook account (with no friends) so I can test Facebook integration ("Like" buttons, etc.) on websites I build. But, of course, that one's a fake Facebook account and doesn't use my name. So, ironically: Facebook banning me for using a fake name (when I wasn't) has ended up with me only having a Facebook account with a fake name.

tl;dr: Facebook introduced their "real names" policy, and decided that my name wasn't real enough for them, even when I proved that is was real enough for Her Majesty's Government.