That was the moment where I knew this game could and would fuck with me. From then on? I hacked at every chest before opening it. I used to do that in previous Souls games because the chest might actually eat me if I didn't look closely; now I do it because I might be transported to hell. At some point it felt like game was saying "Oh, you're exploring a new area? Heads this hurts, tails this helps. Go ahead. Flip that coin." Caelid wins in my "horrific experiences" of Elden Ring, beating out strong contestants like: - 'giant hands that erupt out of the ground when you walk too closely and scuttle towards you like spiders' - 'ambulatory iron maiden with actual grasping hands that will ALSO TELEPORT YOU SOMEPLACE ELSE if it doesn't kill you first'. - Even winning against 'possessed dead snake with a face in the back of it's neck, it will invite you to join it as family before attacking, stopping only to wrench a greatsword MADE OF PEOPLE out of it's throat'. Fuck Caelid.