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user-inactivated  ·  2985 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How am I to be less needy? How do I make friends?

I've initially wrote a very long and emotional reply to you when I saw your post, partly because I was still distraught over a dream I had that day and partly because you made me think of things that are important to me. Here's another take.

    I want to ask you if there are any Meetup.com groups in your area.

I didn't know of this website's existence before, so I checked to see whether, indeed, we have meetups here. There's only one meetup in Tomsk, and it's about front-end software development - far from my field. However, I'm certain that there are other meetups even in my uni - it's just that it might be hard for me to take part in them because I'm quite socially-anxious.

I tried it, though: this New Year I've met in an unfamiliar company of people in a private library. It was a bit stressful until we got warmer to each other, soon after the clock rang twelve times. I presume that, had I a familiar person beside me and were I more energetic, the warming-up would have been much sooner: this is how I operate.

    When people like that show up, they make the effort to earn your trust. They go the extra mile. They reach out for you. Find those who do it and there's your answer.

This is reassuring. I've never met such people in Russia, which is among the reasons I'd like to live in Europe or the US, which is closer to my natural affinity and values. Hopefully, I'll meet some in my life and it physical space; it would be amazing.

Thank you for your reply, and particularly for reminding me of meetups. I'll make sure to take part in some.