Alright let's go. Let's do this old man. • Just once, I will try eating without texting. The worst offenders I see doing both of these things: baby boomers. Baby boomers are THE WORST with phones. Most millenials I know (myself included) got snapped at if they used their phones at the table. My mom has done that to me PHONE IN HAND. what??? WHAT??? see above re: phones and boomers Most low income jobs go to adults. Teens make up 24% of the hourly work force. Also, when are teens supposed to have time for work on top of increasingly more demanding curriculums and the expectations of extracurriculars. Language changes and I am scared of change. Electricity is the devil and Thomas Edison was a witch. fuck cilantro (ok that's just me) Just once, I will try driving without texting.
• I will learn all my siblings' names (even the younger ones).
• If my first-born is a boy, I promise not to name him Uber.
I will not use pepper spray to season a burrito.
• At holiday dinners, I will leave my phone in my room.
• In high school or college, I will get a part-time job. Even if it's beneath me.
• I promise not to misuse the word "literally." As in "I am literally dying of hunger" or "You are literally being so rude."
I will not consider the cilantro on my taco to be a vegetable.