This may be too simple, but literally 2 things: honesty and that the reviewer is reasonable. If you go to mcdonalds and they don't have Dom and that pisses you off, you're a worthless reviewer. I just read a review where a guy said that a bar was a "black or white place" and that he went with a couple of white friends and his food took too long, so they canceled it because they saw the black cook outside. I took my white ass and my friend's even whiter ass to the same bar to see staff of mixed ethnic backgrounds and my food came out just fine... Some people are just kind of... Idiots. If you have expectations that are in line with the place you're going to (floors can be sticky at a dive, maybe not so much at a fine French restaurant, ketchup is a fine sauce at a shitty burger place, not so much at a nice Italian place), and you talk about them and how they were met, I'm fine with your review whether I agree or not.