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Hire me? Shit. Get enough beer in me and I'll do it for free. "xofaith, has anyone told you lately how badass you are? What? No. Dude, let me tell you. You're a mother fucking badass." "xofaith, I'm not going to stop you, but I just want to let you know. If you keep doing what you're doing, I'm not gonna be able to compete with you. You're getting on a whole new level bro." That's when I'm sober. Imagine how good my compliments will be when I'm drunk. "xofaith . . . uh . . . nice shirt."