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It's subjective at the end of the day, so I can't say for sure. One thing I noticed in your story was that her eyes were chained to the floor. Without that, the whole scene took place neatly on the couch and that was fine, but since the character now existed outside of the couch I had a notion of a bigger space with no information to fill it in so it was like a white space in the word painting. Some other interaction with the floor, like the guy keeping a foot down because the hard wood grounded him, or the girl's gaze staring far beyond the deep shag, would have built out that part of the scene and filled in the gap. But yeah, that's subjective.