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I appreciate your feedback! I do agree with you and understand where you're coming from regarding getting a bit wordy by over describing simple things. My intention was to do just that because the idea here is nothing is as simple as it seems. But then again, if I am not careful enough, it will sort of disrupt the flow of the poem which is what happened for you. I welcome all criticism, so do not worry at all. The only way we get better is if we listen to what others say rather than getting defensive. Again, thank you for the feedback and I am glad you enjoyed the poem!