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comment by lil

    I can engage in a dozen great conversations with brilliant and hilarious people every day in social media, and it doesn't feel half as fulfilling as a positive in-person encounter with an average stranger (which I normally don't have, positive or negative, most days).
Ummmm - what exactly are you suggesting here, muffin?

I think most of us would reverse that sentence and say "I can engage in a positive in-person encounter with an average stranger and it doesn't feel half as fulfilling as a single brilliant and hilarious hubski conversation."

But there's much much more to it than this. I can't get into it right now as I have to go out and have some (probably average or sub-par) in-person encounters. However, I do want to say this: Thank you for introducing me to Steven Hyden. He's an interesting and thoughtful writer.





user-inactivated  ·  2642 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Ummmm - what exactly are you suggesting here, muffin?
Ha! Yeah...

But really, I can tell this is setting up to be an interesting conversation (ironically). I genuinely thought a good bit of hubski would be with the author on this one. Face to face is so, so deeply ingrained in us genetically that I can't help but agree with what you quoted to an extent (although hubski's changing my mind about that and a lot of things day by day). I'm curious if anyone agrees with me. Might be its own topic.

I come to the internet because good conversation is pretty rare (and much less convenient) in my daily life. Just, interactions in personal space seem on the face of it much more fulfilling -- but often they're so banal, and nothing on hubski is ever short of scintillating. So I'm still partially trying to figure out where I stand on this one. But the need for close physical interaction with other humans is built into us, so it'll be hard getting past that.

user-inactivated  ·  2641 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Speaking from a socially anxious perspective, I don't think there's a difference between the two. As you say here:

    interactions in personal space seem on the face of it much more fulfilling -- but often they're so banal

My best conversations are online because I have trouble conversing about anything at a deeper level in person. It almost seems as if people avoid deep conversations in person. They'll only be banal. Talking to people in person is similar to my view on driving a car - it's necessary to do it, and I need to learn to do it well, but I don't have to enjoy it.

user-inactivated  ·  2641 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    It almost seems as if people avoid deep conversations in person.

They do, I do -- but it doesn't have to be that way just because of the medium.

user-inactivated  ·  2642 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Can confirm that I would say the reverse. In-person encounters are so overrated.

lil  ·  2642 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I did go out and accidentally met a new person. I walked in the 20 F weather (somewhat colder than in Denver) for about half an hour and found a new cafe to write in. I'm working on my Shakespeare stories and had Julius Caesar open. The server asked me what I was reading/writing and we got to talking. She's a singer/ songwriterand has a bluegrass band.

So now I don't know what to say about the original statement. Yes, I had an in-person encounter - and then it led me back to the internet to look her up. But -- I liked her a lot!! And the hot chocolate was awesome.

I guess I can have great conversations both in and not in person. I'm lucky that way. Here's a short blog I wrote ages ago called "Should I leave the House?" on a similar topic.

I still prefer not to leave the house, but I have decided to walk for 40 minutes every day, so I guess I will. Rain or shine. Minus 20 or plus 20 (centigrade).