I regret that I've lost any sense of appropriate communication with other human beings. I mean that it's difficult to engage in interpersonal activity without somehow becoming ensconced in a cycle of self-beneficial dialogue and thought; the norm becomes what I see and how my self-doubts manifest themselves into something said MAINLY for the sake of contribution to the conversation, and false feelings of connection; it all makes me feel so goddamn alienated. I mean, it's not like something I can pinpoint down to one instance, but I think I'm hugely at fault for jeopardizing any chance of future social happiness. Once you find your way out of minor social situations on the reg, that sense of casual belonging disintegrates. I'm working on rebuilding that foundation, but... it's going to take a while and lots of effort.