Another week, another funeral. I dunno how much more emotional battering I can take! I feel quite adjusted to it now though - it's just when I see someone else tear up, I suddenly feel the tears coming on for me. Gonna tuck into a beer this weekend that's for sure. Plus side, we might be getting a cat this Saturday. Photos will be shared.
I once lost 9 people in just under two years. Five of them to lunatics with guns. One who died instantly at his turntables when, while bopping his head to the music in his headphones, his undiagnosed spinal meningitis kicked in and basically turned him off. They say he was dead before he hit the ground. There's no answer. There's no easy solution. There's no rhyme or reason to when or where you will go to pieces. It just happens, and breaking down is not a weakness in character or a problem you can "solve". What I found most helpful was to going and doing things that I know they specifically would have liked. Being active, doing something I may not have done by myself before, or simply thinking "If Drew was here, he'd seriously dig this!" helped me make new, positive memories, of the person and established a new positive narrative that I associated with them, rather than just their death. Good luck with your journey, my friend.
Appreciate the kind words. I agree too - I intend to do things that my grandfather would be proud of. Taking good care of the gardens, inheriting his piano so practicing more often. A part of me is sort of waiting for everything to hit. I feel like I've been coasting through but maybe I'm actually handling it well. This might be what being adjusted feels like to me!