Hang on there, buddy. Nobody is giving you shit over anything. There is exactly one offended party in this conversation, and the rest of us are backpedalling furiously to figure out why. Tone-wise, "Puns rarely survive ESL" was meant apologetically, not antagonistically. It matters that English is your second language because you've grown up sheep-dipped into a different set of idioms, a different taxonomy of slang, double entendres that are anchored differently and a cultural milieu that contains a different sample-set of touchstones. Here's an entertaining list of things that Americans fucked up when attempting to transliterate slang into foreign languages - the stuff isn't obvious. My understanding was that you didn't get the joke. I was attempting to explain the joke, while also offering a reason as to why you didn't get the joke. I can't stop you from being offended, but I can reiterate that it most assuredly wasn't my intent.
You know, I'm not gonna reply to that right now. I realized that I feel patronized by the remarks about my "good English", and I have no idea why, so I'm gonna give myself some time to think about it. What I'm gonna say is: I know you meant no harm. I've known you long enough to say it even without your explaining yourself.