My Midwestern femme look is a costume, which doesn’t mean it’s a disguise. Wearing it is a violence and a privilege—it lets me be seen or not, in lots of different rooms, capitalizing however I want—but above all it’s a lie. Nobody fits cleanly into one box. As a white person today I feel it is my job and my work to be angry and loud and clear some space—and it’s also my job to shut the hell up. I did not drive to Milliken to say I’m lucky and held responsible, though of course I am.
Disclaimer: I could, and probably am, completely wrong and just misread the entire thing. I'm also sort of typing as I think, which is almost never a good thing.
I didn't really understand the point(s) she was trying to make. Is she upset? Is she for or against what's going on? The whole article seemed to jump around to random facets of her history and then poof back to the present. It all seemed very incoherent to me, like she was attempting to prove a point by not proving a point, if that makes any sense. I get the sense that she was upset... maybe? She didn't like the idea of White Appreciation Day and also the bathrooms were patronizing? That last sentence is my entirety of possible understanding from the article. Also, she felt that the guy posting a picture of food after receiving a bomb threat was... infantilizing? Surely, he could've just been posting the picture to say that yes, we are still serving this delicious BBQ. Then she went and read some Black Panther Party books. For what reason is this important? Is she assuaging her white guilt or something? I certainly don't mean to come across as confrontational, but that's sort of my raw thought process after reading the article. I think I'm just really unsure of the point or objective.
Edit - What does "flashing your Casper" mean? Showing your white skin?
I don't see it so much as a point oriented article, but more the sharing of impressions from an event. I don't want a theatre critic in long-form to have a point, more to give what the impression is. With that said, I don't think that the idea of White Appreciation Day is the problem. I see it as that it was stated that every american is welcomed, every one is celebrated. But at the same time everything that doesn't fit the mould is under threat. The bathrooms are a very easy symbol for that. Meat and BBQ are masculine (There is the trope of "Man orders steak, woman orders salad") and so all the outside of the restaurant is geared in the masculine. The women's bathroom is a feminine space to the extreme. The feeling is that anything that doesn't fall into the easy boxes is just excluded. Add to that "everybody has a gun" and suddenly the fear becomes close to panic.
And as for the books mentioned, I see it less white guilt and more to remember that there are others. That the ethos of all inclusivity doesn't really work. This are my impressions of reading. Nothing states that they are right. They are fueled by own experiences as a non-white, non-citizen US resident. I might be reading a bit too much into this. I know Casper as the smiling white person.
Thanks for your perspective and clearing some things up for me. I think I have a better understanding of her experience.
Let me know if I'm incorrect in any way.
+ The women's restroom is a stark contrast to the rest of the restaurant - the writer feels that they are trying too hard to counter balance the masculine feel of the rest of the building by diving deep into stereotypical feminine decor.
+ She is afraid of guns. I'm interested in that since she says she grew up in rural America, I think?
+ Flash your Caspers = smiling. I've never heard that expression before, but I understand now, maybe.
I can't remember the last time I thought of food as masculine or feminine. Maybe that's just me. I do sort of recall the trope from TV shows or something of that nature. I always viewed those kinds of BBQ joints a representation of a southern American family gathering, where everything is on paper plates and even grandma is eating with her hands.
I don't necessarily believe that he needs to be all-inclusive. There are plenty of places that cater to a specific audience. It's not that he's excluding anyone, but celebrating a certain group for a day. Plenty of other groups do the same and don't feel the need to then "balance" their activities by reading some white supremacy books. I think I'm really thinking about this for much more than what the author intended. Sorry if it comes off as douchey.
I will first start by saying that I can only speak about my experiences (which are very limited in scope and do not match the author's at all). - Gun culture in the US is weird. I grew up with people carrying rifles on their back to almost every place. The main difference is the concealed carry aspect. The entire concept just makes everything suspect, you do not know where it will come from. It seems to me like the scene from Dr. Strangelove - what is the point of having a doomsday device if no one knows about it. The idea that you are safe because everyone around you might have a gun is just odd to me - I am not saying there is more danger, but I am sure as hell don't feel safer. - As for food and gender, I don't see it as a "trying too hard" more as claiming that this is the way things are. The restaurant with its meat culture is masculine, the women's bathroom is feminine. This is the way things are and that should not be changed. Anything that might call that into question is not allowed. And I don't think you need to think of food of masculine or feminine, however the marketing departments still view food as a very gendered subject. This is vegan cookbook image search - most of the people on covers are women. On the other hand this is BBQ cookbook image search women became slightly harder to find. And I admit that for me BBQ won't go to the American Southern family gathering, since I am not one. And as for inclusivity, I agree that inclusivity is not the be-all and end-all. I think that the idea for something for everybody comes along a lot of times with nothing for anybody. I agree that that he doesn't need to be all-inclusive, but that is the way he tells it. And Again talking from my own experience, passing as white, lead me to encounters where I look like I am included, but in actuality I am terrified for my life. I am not saying that it all needs to be balance out, but being in the wrong place is panic inducing. Edit: I spend most of my time in academia, so I wouldn't worry about thinking it too much. Most people I meet do that on as a living. Everything deserve to be over-thought.
Did you write this? Was the objective of the hispanic owner to trick white supremacists in to giving him their business? Sort of like opening a Chic Fil-a and giving all your proceeds to the ILGA?
No, A friend of mine wrote this. I am not white. I do pass as white, but the illusion breaks when I open my mouth and have an accent. (that has caused some very odd moments while living in the US). As for his objective, I am not sure. In the interview, he doesn't seem to be interested in tricking people. There is also the questions of how he defines himself, that is not that easy to answer. Yes, he is hispanic, but at least once in the video he includes himself in the white community. (According to US census 53% of hispanics by ethnicity consider themselves white). (Sorry for the parenthesis abuse, I was rereading this and realized that sounds like I doubt the fact that they are white. I don't. I honestly feel that I am in no place to doubt anyone's identity and no reason to want to do that). I am not sure what he meant, but I hope that "tricks" like this can ignite a conversation on what is white, what is invisible, and what is ill-defined.