I spent the early morning (prior to 11) cleaning up my living space. I'd been inspired recently to get rid of old possessions and clutter, etc. (This happens a few times every year.) I gathered books to donate and went through old mail, figuring out what to throw out and keep. In the midst of this I found a tax form I needed for this year's taxes! Actually the only tax form I needed. So I filed my taxes. Awesome! At 11:30 I was meeting a friend for lunch and to give her 3 bags full of yarn and knitting things that I was giving away as I knew I wouldn't use them. Lunch was delicious and fun and what I needed. It began to snow. Early afternoon I went to a group-friend-hangout-house and we passed a Dutch and killed some time. I had originally planned to go to my bar and talk to my bartender (the one I've been crushing on for months guys, yeah that one). I had talked to him earlier in the week and we'd even talked about Valentine's Day. I'd asked him why he didn't have a Valentine.[1] However, I began to feel self-conscious about doing so, because I've been pretty sure previously this guy has known I've had a huge crush on him[2] and hasn't seemed to reciprocate. Also, I figured the bar was probably pretty busy. I texted my sister and went to hang out with her. We'd bailed on our set plans for the day, which were to go see a movie, and just lazed around with her and her friend. Then eventually I went home. Another friend tried to get me to hang out and indeed, we had even promised to be each other's platonic valentine's for the day, but it was snowing. I felt bad bailing so I gave hanging out the good ol' college try - even left my house - but got stuck on the hill leaving my neighborhood and that's when I decided to call it quits. Then I just shitted around on the internet til I went to bed. I wrote. I finished reading the poetry book I was supposed to. It was a pretty good day. I was really busy and just had fun. I didn't feel unhappy about the fact that it was valentine's, or that I didn't have a lover-valentine, at all. [1] Apparently when you ask a person of the gender you are attracted to "So, why don't you have a Valentine?" the week before Valentine's Day, you are being Completely Obvious about your GIant Burgeoning Crush. Thanks, siblings, for informing me and now making me feel even more self-conscious.
[2] See [1] and now ask yourself, "How could he not know?" Consider also the following:
- I have previously made and given him cookies
- I have previously written out and given him a copy of one of my poems
- We hang out and talk at the bar all the time and I say stupid stuff like apparently "Why don't you have a Valentine?"