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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3637 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Guys and Dolls: Veteran Toy Designer Wrestles With the Industry's Gender Divide

Not "would get sacrificed" -- does get sacrificed. All kinds of literature on Tiger Moms, What America Needs From Its Parents, blah blah.

    I'm also fairly sure parents want to minimize the amount of self-parenting their child has to do.

And I believe that's about the biggest mistake there is. I know several actual parents on hubski feel the same way -- actually the #parenting tag has some of my favorite discussions. But if you let your son play with dolls the odds are just stacked against him ... maybe that's realistic, maybe it's cruel. Two sides of the same coin.

    How would you respond if your son grew up and asked, 'Dad, what the heck was the deal with being all weird about dolls and shit? I liked those.'

I would never deny my children the chance to experience something solely on the basis of gender. The bias I am trying to get over is rather: deliberately exposing them to toys that have traditional gender identities. So your hypothetical would never occur -- else children would be asking their parents that every day. I never asked my father about dolls when I grew up because we never discussed them when I was young.





b_b  ·  3635 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I had a doll that I took everywhere when I was a little kid. I don't think I'm any the worse for it. Turned out straight, not that it matters that much. I think I was born to be a sensitive and empathetic person, and that's all that was reflected in me carrying around a doll for a while. Maybe sensitive and empathetic are generally more feminine, but certainly they're not exclusively so. I'm still a pretty good athlete, after all, still playing hockey and keeping up with 21 years olds at my age. The doll didn't kill my testosterone.

teamramonycajal  ·  3636 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    But if you let your son play with dolls the odds are just stacked against him

But why perpetuate the problem?

Also, not deliberately exposing your son to dolls doesn't mean he never will be. What if he plays with a female friend whose parents do let her play with dolls of some kind in addition to Legos and action figures and all sorts of 'gender-neutral' or stereotypically gendered and he thinks it's fun?

The odds are only stacked against him because you let them be.