I come from an area of the world (Newfoundland, Canada) where old words, and old meanings of words linger. I'm a lover of words, especially ones that are very, very specific things. "Susurrus", for the rustling sounds of wind through leaves, or "Isthmus", which is a land bridge connecting two larger land areas. What is my ideal self? I'm thinking more outwardly at the moment I'm working on the inward self improvement too, but the mills of the gods grind exceedingly slowly. The smallness of their grind, however, makes it worth it. Outwardly, I'm striving for about 50lbs lighter (working my way from the heaviest I've ever been), and a more androgynous outward persona and look. I just don't really visually or sexually identify any longer with the more heavily "manly" look i've cultivated over the past few years.