Maszlow's Hierarchy has been heavily discredited as a psychological tool but as an aphorism it ain't bad. What you're saying is that you want security out of work. That's not strictly accurate, though. You need security out of work. it is the thing that ensures your food water shelter sex. It does not provide self-actualization, which is that thing Maszlow figured few people ever achieved. It doesn't give you the tip of the pyramid. Your church gives you the tip of the pyramid. What you're grappling with is the dichotomy between your need for security and your want for self-actualization. you turned down the web design gig because it does not provide you enough security for the self-actualization it would deprive you of. If you thought web design was your one true calling, you would have taken it regardless of the money. After all, nobody is paying you to bake bread.