I gave a thought to the last paragraph.

The spirit of your message is something I agree with. It is something I aim to practice because I believe it as well.

However, I don't believe it's applicable in this particular situations. Yes, it must make them awkward that I'm so left out. It is, however, because of their attitude that I am to begin with. I believed that my group is supposed to be my second family, and so I tried very hard to blend in, to make contact, to build bridges. None of it mattered much: I was still that weird guy who keeps talking weird shit. I know that because whenever I said or did something that went against the group's idea, I was lashed out at and made a scapegoat out of. Despite providing my best help and advice, I was never respected or even accepted as a member of the group.

My friends and people I care about will always receive my kindness, as much as I can afford to give, whatever the circumstances. My uni group has lost this privilege with me over time. The moment of refusal was me acting on my convictions. I've extended my hand for too long and got it bitten too often to want to reconcile. I can't afford being kind to those who are unkind to me. I have too little energy for that, and I still want to live.