They say "misery loves company," I'm not sure if that is true, but if I were in your neck of the woods, I'd welcome the opportunity to commiserate. You, like just about every Hubskier I've met, are good company to keep. You're a smart fella. Too smart. Maybe ignorance really is bliss? Lot's of happy Americans these days. Please forgive me if this is well chartered territory, I'm woefully past due on my hubskiing, but have you seen anyone professionally about this? I'm only mildly depressed and see someone every week about it. Without that weekly appointment, I'd be legitimately depressed. I think therapy, with the right therapist, is amazing. Especially for someone that is emotionally in-tune with themselves and brave enough to admit some hard truths. -You seem to fit the bill.