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coffeesp00ns  ·  2605 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: February 8, 2017

I'm auditioning for an Artist's diploma in Early music in Toronto. The audition date is on the 21st. I am intensely stressed about this.

Also, auditioning when you've been living with one name but legally have another is weird. It really points out your trans...ness. Like, even my email doesn't match with my legal name so it's weird, everything requires extra explanation. Name on programmes from gigs doesn't match legal name? must explain. Make sure your references know which name to use. Endless.

The stress has been killing my mental health, too. I mean, of course - it's very human for that to happen. I've been in a very low period and I'm slowly starting to crawl my way out of it, but I also have to hedge my expectations because I think i'm gonna have to be extra mentally kind to myself for the next... 2 weeks? And of course my inevitable failure afterwards.