it doesn't document decoy questions ("What planet are you on?")

That seems irrelevant.

it doesn't report the response rate ("We questioned 5,000 women, 10 responded")

That seems unlikely.

it's questions are biased ("Have you cheated on" vs. "Have you been cheated on")

Explain how they're biased.

it hasn't been replicated

It's not a quantum physics experiment, it's a simple poll.

the magazine's content is on level with bigfoot chasers, it's a magazine.

So what? It's no worse than the average newspaper.

You're just throwing mud at me and hoping that some of it will stick. Also you have no idea what a troll is. Protip: troll =/= person who disagrees with you. Lurk more.