3. Transhumanism.

There was a company that made atrial defibrillators. They were bought by Guidant. Guidant was bought by Johnson and Johnson. The stuff I did there has been lost to history, but it looked kind of like this:

That's a shock/pace lead for an ICD (Implantable Cardioverter Device). Ours were for atrial defibrillation. This is a thing that connects to a capacitor and zaps your heart when you feel bad so you don't feel bad anymore. They cost about $1500 to make, had fixation helixes made out of 80/20 platinum/iridium alloy and are the last fucking thing you want in your body.

There isn't a device made that's better than what your body makes and your body knows it. There is no way to get a port into your body that your body doesn't recognize as a wound. There isn't a thing you can shove under your skin that your body won't pearl over in plaque just to free itself from irritation. And if it can't, it's 'cuz you're huffing steroids like Mark McGwire and we have one word for you, my friend:

immunocompromised.

My grandfather lived to 94. He outlived two hip replacements. Granted, they're more complicated than false teeth but they're hella simpler than, say, cochlear implants. Don't get me wrong - if you're stone blind a 8x8 light/dark matrix is the shit but the only reason you want something extra under your skin is if the thing you got sucks.

Take that bellybutton piercing you still regret. Now put it somewhere you can't get to. Now fill it full of technology. Now figure out a way to get power to it. Now contemplate what happens when something goes wrong with it. Now suppose it grants you the Wisdom of Solomon -

is it really worth it?

Implants have gotten way better than they used to. As part of my biomedical hazing I had to read a 300-page book on the history of pacemakers. That shit used to be nuclear. But really, that's cybernetics in a nutshell - "sucking marginally less than it used to."

There is nothing outside your body that would be better off inside your body other than food, drink and medicine. And, it could be argued, that stuff isn't "inside" your body anyway - anatomically speaking, you are basically a tunnel.