I recently read a blog post written by a famous Norwegian blogger, where he wrote about how he freed himself of the tyranny of debt and owning a house and everything that comes with it. He divorced, sold the house, paid down his debts, and felt a huge sense of relief. Instead of being in debt and owning a big house that needs to be taken care of, he rents an apartment. He went on to write about how it's not necessary to live the traditional family life, and how we should break free from the chains of what's expected of us.
Here I am, recently having increased my debt buying both a brand new house (new as in built this year), and a new car. In addition to that, I have two kids (one born this year, even), and a dog. But instead of feeling like this weighs me down, I feel great about it! For the first time in my life I actually care deeply about where I live - I own a house! With a garden and everything!
I love working in the garden, watering and cutting the grass, planting plants. For the first time in my life I've built something that I can touch and feel - a wind fence for our terrace. I love my car because we can fit everyone in it, and it has a five year warranty, which means that if anything breaks we don't have to worry about suddenly having to spend tons of money on it. I'm able to provide a great place and environment for my kids, and we don't have to stress about not having enough room or stuffing ourselves into an old, beat up car.
Somehow I feel as if I should be worried about being in debt, and that I should view having kids and being locked down like this is a bad thing - but I'm not and I don't. Is it a defence mechanism? Am I in denial? I've never been in this situation before, so I really have no idea how it will work out in the end.
There is an important difference in taking debt for consumption, or for an investment into your future. Kids, dogs, and a house are definitively an investment into the future - having some debt because of that isn't worrisome. Just make sure you prioritize paying it off correctly.
I think it's completely normal to be in some kind of debt. There's going to be some point in your life where you can't exactly pay for something up front. When you go into debt, there is that initial realization that you have to pay them that $25,000 for that car and that it's technically not yours, but it's still normal. Eventually, you'll own that car. Eventually, (well, if you stay long enough) you'll own that house. You're not really throwing money down in a hole, you're just paying for something over time. Really, if he's living in an apartment, he's the one living more constrained, isn't he? In 30 years, you'll own that house. He will be paying for an apartment until he dies. Sure, it's harder to just up and leave a house, but it's not impossible. If you are a person that wants to move around, apartments are great, because you can often be out by the end of the month. However, if you pay off a house, you now just have a safe base to work with. You can go live other places for a while, but if anything happens you have a free place to stay. If your conscientious about being tied down, then you shouldn't really base your life around where you live. Get an apartment if you want to move a lot. If you want security for life, get a house and still visit other places; you'll have something to eventually settle down in.