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comment by user-inactivated
user-inactivated  ·  3670 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: 2014 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Award for bad fictional first sentences

    Hard-boiled private eye Smith Calloway had a sinking feeling as he walked into the chaotic crime scene, for there, as expected, was the body dressed in a monk’s habit; there was the stuffed cream-colored pony next to the crisp apple strudel; there was the doorbell, the set of sleigh bells, and even the schnitzel with noodles – all proclaiming that the Von Trappist Killer had struck again.




Meriadoc  ·  3669 days ago  ·  link  ·  

JESUS CHRIST.

This one got me the best. It mixes so many things at one that I can't even pick my favorite part. This is a masterpiece of crap.