I hear you. I spend way too much time online, and playing video games, and (not as much these days) masturbating to pornography.

It's funny, though, in terms of causality. I think I developed a habit of procrastinating and shying away from the things I have to do, and so that is what caused me to get into heavy internet use and video gaming, and yet it works the other way, too, in that those things become causes unto themselves and make me waste yet more time. It's a vicious cycle!

It's actually interesting, this kind of feedback loop rather than a linear causal relationship. I think it's related to my 'depression' (I'm not clinically diagnosed and am anyway wary of the term). I hate myself because I do nothing, and I do nothing because I hate myself too much. It makes no sense, but it's something the depressed people I've spoken to understand completely.

And so I, too, am scared of the future. I'm scared because I'm not sure I can deal with life, and because I might end up wasting it.

It's desperate. I spend every waking moment - other than when I distract myself - screaming in my mind at all I have not done and have left to do.

The thing is, simple removal of distractions doesn't get me anywhere. I will literally sleep rather than do stuff. I've actually been sleeping a crazy amount lately...