for root cause reasons I'll never understand... coupled with environmental factors I totally understand... I had a terrible mental health day. I woke up feeling on top of the world. Could not have been better. Finished an audiobook with my wife on our morning walk.... and one side comment that didn't matter just wormed its way in to my brain and festered and I allowed it to grow. Things at work started piling up. A friend sent me a picture of us from 20 years ago where I am much more handsome and had some form of happiness in my eyes. My neck is tense. Work issue after work issue after infrastructure issue bores into my skull like a pneumatic nail gun. I feel tired. Personnel issue plus a couple of fighting kids, plus remote school issue, plus a peer at work who not-so-subtly tries to belittle me and put me in a corner. I can feel my heart beating now, like it's punching my ribs from the inside. Another escalated customer is upset because they changed a setting in our software and a member of my team wasn't able to immediately fix their problem. so tired now. My peer who knows she's better than me not-so-subtly reminds me again. thoughts Are getting darker now.

Quit Slack

Quite Zoom

Quit Outlook

Put computer to sleep

Stand up

Walk four paces

Collapse in bed

Turn off phone

sleep

.

.

it worked a bit. Woke up in time for my 3pm meeting. the darkness persists.

I'm going to ride my bike for a while.

I hope your days are better days.